Design and Craft

Introduction Design and Craft are terms which are commonly used interchangeably although they differ in meaning. Craft is technique believed to have evolved many years ago, and it is still in existence. The oxford dictionary defines craft as a capability to generate and organize items by the use of intellectual power, force, strength, ingenuity and inventiveness. However, Craft involves cunning, guile and magic.Advertising We will write a custom essay sample on Design and Craft specifically for you for only $16.05 $11/page Learn More Differences between Craft and design The difference between design and craft spans back to over several centuries. With the development of French, Italian and English Design academies, the idea of distinguishing between design and craft emerged (Forty, 46). The following differences therefore, can be noticed between the two aspects. A. The word craft is associated with a noun whereas design is associated with a verb. B. Craf t is a term which is commonly used to refer to objects which are made from non-art materials. The word craft is only used when describing a set of objects and it’s often confused and used interchangeably with the words art and design. Craft can also be defined as a precise and accurate form of creating items, that is, an approach to manufacturing. According to Forty (76), the term craft is used to refer to two things at the same time, that is, it is used to describe how different things look, (for instance, we always say that I love that design) combined with the steps involved in achieving the final product of a good (for instance, we often say the tailor is designing my dress). Forty (63) argues that the word design is very tricky to determine since the logic of the word in the design sector does not comprise of words.Advertising Looking for essay on art and design? Let's see if we can help you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More He continues to elab orate that the explanation can only be established through the creation of artifacts and acquisition of key framework for analysis. Therefore, his interpretation is based on the standard definition which defines design as, the process of transformation of something from its existing state to a preferred state. C. Craft is an intangible act, and it’s not made but applied. A craft work involves the use of imagination, knowledge and skills to the characteristics of different items such as paintings, clothing, furniture, ornaments and vessels whereas Design includes how things are made, their external appearance and how they are marketed. Design has the ability to change the culture of a place as people tend to embrace new designs with the changing times. According to Forty (33), Design also reflects on the culture of a given place as one is able to deduce the values of a given place through the existing design patterns. D. Craft work typically involves the use of hand whereas mo st of the design processes involves the use of computerized technologies such as the 3D software for the production stage to be completed. E. Crafting is applied to processes such as producing films, writing poetry and making paints and breads whereas the design process is creative and involves a lot of analytical processes such as testing, prototyping, model making, product research and sketching. F. Crafts practices include ornamenting, covering, performing ritual, decorating, wearing and furnishing among many others, which all these practices can be carried out by one unit whereas the design process involves integration of functions from different specialists due to its complexity. For instance, for a product to be converted into a finished good it involves the work of architect, engineer, marketer, lawyers and the series may contain several other professionals.Advertising We will write a custom essay sample on Design and Craft specifically for you for only $16.05 $11/page Learn More Conclusion Design is a very powerful aspect in the differentiation process since certain elements such as; gender roles, age and class are emphasized through it. Design rights generally industrial design rights are protected under the intellectual property rights which makes infringement of the rights unlawful. Works Cited Forty, Adrian, objects of Desire: Design and Society Since 1750, New York: Thames and Hudson, 2005 This essay on Design and Craft was written and submitted by user Zavier Beach to help you with your own studies. You are free to use it for research and reference purposes in order to write your own paper; however, you must cite it accordingly. You can donate your paper here.

DIersity issues Today

DIersity issues Today Free Online Research Papers Because of my distinct up bringing the cycle of socialization was applied prior to this multicultural communications class. Growing up race never came up as an issue to me; my mother never gave race enough attention for it to be significant. All I knew was that I was African-American and most of my friends were Asian Latino and white, but I didnt even look at them as colored kids, just kids. Because my circle of friends was so diverse the physical differences didn’t really stand out among plus we were young and didnt care. I was more concerned with Pokà ©mon cards and what not. This mindset stayed with me until about 5th grade. I was never a victim of anyone’s prejudice so i didnt develop any hostility towards any race. One of the most vivid memories i have from elementary school is being taught the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want did to you From this rule i would say i sprouted my norms, rules, and models of ways to act. This rule had nothing to do with race, it was just a standard rule to abide to if you wanted to be respected. My all around cultural landscape growing up was centered on family and education. It wasnt until I moved to Seattle from Lynnwood when i noticed race as an issue. Phrases like white boy and nigga became prevalent and race smacked me in the face. These words were mainly used by the student body, which shocked me the most. i thought in this day and age kids didnt care about race, but in a metropolitan area the results could differ. The thing that irritated me the most about the situation was that the other African-Americans among themselves who were increasing the stereotypes about others knowingly and about themselves unknowingly. Recently my high school held its first dance of the year, Homecoming. The thing about Garfield’s dances is that the dance floor always ends up segregated. Blacks in the front, Whites to the front left and nobodies in the back black or white. I always though that this was peculiar, so i thought why? I came up with these reasons for the actions. Usually hip-hop i played at these dances, so it’s understandable for most of the Blacks to gather in the front near the DJ. Next the whites, usually they get to the dance earliest, so they can get a spot in front of the dance floor, but are usually pushed to the left by the later arriving groups of black people. Also because most white kids are considered not to be able to dance that well justifies them being pushed to the left by their black counterparts. Anyway my point is that even the younger generation is setting themselves apart from each other consciously and sub-consciously. Memories of parents or relatives expressing a certain feeling about another race that while awake may have been disregarded, sub-consciously this may invoke actions in the adolescence he or she might not be aware of, but visible to another race. This is why we must change as people. we must be aware of discrimination and prejudices that are around us and influencing the younger generations. Research Papers on DIersity issues TodayBook Review on The Autobiography of Malcolm XWhere Wild and West MeetThe Spring and Autumn19 Century Society: A Deeply Divided EraHonest Iagos Truth through DeceptionHip-Hop is ArtThe Hockey GameThe Masque of the Red Death Room meaningsStandardized TestingTrailblazing by Eric Anderson

Quantitative Methods for Business Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Quantitative Methods for Business - Essay Example This essay offers a comprehensive analysis of the role of the quantitative methods in ensuring economic efficiency of the management process.These methods do not just play an important role in making business decisions. There are also instrumental in estimation. Thirdly they are also a valuable tool for taking inventory of items, cost and profit. This is the unique tracking aspect of these methods. Business decision cannot be taken on a light note and hence it is absolutely that all logical and mathematical calculations are exhausted so that an optimal result can be ascertained before a final decision is implemented that will be of consequential importance to the business and the profit and or loss that subsequently endured. The process of a Quantitative Method in business is that the method gives a systematic and theoretical yet practical approach to finding solutions to pending and prospective problems. It is also important in making certain decisions that require critical thinking and analysis. This also enables an executive or a key decision maker of the business to take defining decisions that are binding on the entire business based on transparency and sound judgment through logical principles. These principles are based on a logical schematic that deals with each decision in a step by step fashion. This approach is necessary because it step of the decision making process has its own stressors and set of parameters. Quantitative methods also have an extraordinary tool in its arsenal which is numerical analysis. ... The method of quantitative analysis that is applied involves the valuation of an expected return of profit on the varying amounts of expenditures. This in turn allows one to deduce the most logical and sound method to secure the bid value and at the very same time making the most profit in the bargain. The thinking behind securing the bid value is applying linear programming to calculate the exact balance between minimum bid price and maximum profit attained using a production possibility curve as an economic function. The bid value hence must provide a profitable aspect for both the bidder and the client who requires a bid to be made. The whole aim of the Quantitative method for businesses is to foster an analytical mindset that is very important in the process of project acquisition, development, marketing, management and execution (Slater et.al, 2002, pp. 222-228). Sequelae Project management is a very volatile and demanding field of business development that requires the manager to be on the top of their game at all times. Therefore it is of paramount importance that project managers are able to utilize the complete range of skills and procedures that are prevalent in Quantitative methods for studying the business conditions. Secondly managers continuously need to associate decision making with consequential results. Thirdly they have to take a look at viable alternative. These alternatives in turn need to be assessed to see if they can be practical or theoretical and a cost benefit analysis using the Quantitative method has to be conducted. Finally the result of each alternative being theoretically applied to the projected situation has to be estimated before an

Texas City Case Study Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words

Texas City Case Study - Essay Example The gas condensed into a liquid that was ultimately ignited by an idling truck. The workers on the crew that overfilled the tank, as well as the driver of the idling truck are in this sense directly responsible for the disaster. They violated proper procedure and those failing to intervene or report these violates are culpable. This culpability is mitigated by the requirement that fatigue workers work 12 hour shifts, in the context of normative, company-led safety violations and lack of safety training, functioning alarms and other safety equipment. The driver of the truck, while perhaps the most proximate individual trigger for the disaster, is fairly neutral in terms of culpability, having no knowledge of the gas inside the tank. Laudability and culpability are mixed, though weighted more toward culpability when it comes to the government body tasked with overseeing workplace safety. OSHA, despite issuing a warning to BP before the disaster, OSHA failed to instigate comprehensive inspections. This lax attitude nullified the lastline of defense against such tragedy. Merritt, lead investigator for the CSB, said that â€Å"the drastic effects of corporate cost-cutting† caused the fire. At the time of the disaster, the company had recently merged with Arco. Low oil prices put pressure on management that ultimately resulted in the most culpable decisions leading to the disaster; lack of investment in plant safety and infrastructure, deliberate skirting of needed safety equipment and precautions, as well as staff cuts and overwork. According to the CSB, BP managers cut capital spending and spending on maintenance in the years leading to the disaster, and following years of low investment. This was, however, an industry norm at the time. Safety features such as alarms were not present or not working, while the layout

How Apple Positioning in Market Essay Example for Free

How Apple Positioning in Market Essay Policy making now, more aptly, simply describes the development of organizational policies. Some policies appertain at the highest levels and are essential elements of the organizations strategy. But, the vast majority of policies apply at lower levels and are operational in nature. Policymaking is the act of creating laws or setting standards for a government or business. Policy also provides the framework and sets the parameters for planning. The purpose of public planning is to outline how policies will be implemented in practice. Very simply, policies are standing plans that provide guidelines for decision making. They are guides to thinking that establish the boundaries or limits within which decisions are to be made. Within these boundaries, judgment must be exercised. The degree of discretion permitted will vary from policy to policy Policy making is concerned with the formulation of general statements or understandings that guide or channel managerial decisions. Policies, whether written or implied, are essential components of a companys planning framework because they simplify the making of recurring decisions and facilitate the delegation of these decisions. Successive delegations tend to result in a hierarchy of policies within traditional organizations. In organizations where empowerment is practiced, the principal function of policies is to provide essential limits to otherwise broad employee discretion. â€Å"Planning is deciding in advance what to do, when to do how to do. It bridges the gap from where we are where we want to be†. A plan is a future course of actions. It is an exercise in problem solving decision making. Planning is determination of courses of action to achieve desired goals. Thus, planning is a systematic thinking about ways means for accomplishment of pre-determined goals. It is not overly far-fetched to suggest that without policies, because of excessive analysis and the concentration of decisions at the top, corporate decision making in the hierarchical firm could be slowed to the point of bringing operations to a virtual standstill. Conversely, in the empowered organization, there would be the potential for complete lack of control and chaos. Yet, in todays fast-moving business world there is also the great danger of policies becoming rapidly outmoded. For this reason, audits and ongoing reviews are a must if a companys policies are to remain effective decision guides. Read more: http://www.referenceforbusiness.com/encyclopedia/Per-Pro/Policies-and-Policy-Making.html#ixzz2RqlWjxBP Planning is the basic function of management. It deals with chalking out a future course of action deciding in advance the most appropriate course of actions for achievement of pre-determined goals. According to KOONTZ, Planning is necessary to ensure proper utilization of human non-human resources. It is all pervasive, it is an intellectual activity and it also helps in avoiding confusion, uncertainties, risks, wastages etc.

You are what you watch! Essay -- Media, Television Shows

Imagine a distant post-apocalyptic future in which a large silver box has just been excavated from the ruins of what was once Los Angeles, a box that contains stack after stack of DVD’s with titles like Survivor, The Bachelor, Biggest Loser, The Swan, Real World, The Apprentice, and Hell’s Kitchen. What might anthropologists conclude about our 21st century society if these shows were their only glimpse into how we lived our lives? Francine Prose ponders this same question in her essay â€Å"Voting Democracy off the Island: Reality TV and the Republican Ethos,† in which she asks not only what future anthropologists might deduce, but, â€Å"for that matter,† what â€Å"contemporary TV-addicted children and adults† might realize if they were to more closely examine their motivation for watching these shows (22). Salman Rushdie, in his article â€Å"Reality TV: A Dearth of Talent and the Death of Mortality,† suggests that we need to examine rea lity television closely because â€Å"it tells us things about ourselves,† and even if we don’t think it does, it â€Å"ought to,† a claim that suggests that if we merely brush off reality television as a fad, we might be missing something inherently valuable about our nature (16). In her essay, â€Å"The Distorting Mirror of Reality Television,† Sarah Coleman suggests that reality television offers a distorted reflection, a â€Å"dark view of humanity in the guise of light entertainment,† a consideration that asks us to see who we are in this distorted reflection of our values (19). The question then is: what do we see when we see ourselves in this â€Å"dime-store mirror† (â€Å"Reality TV† 16)? Whatever the answer to this question might be, the question itself suggests that there is something inherently human about our fascination with r... ...way and be the winner; that it is okay to betray others because winning is everything; that annoying, conniving, hysterical liars are far more interesting than honest, conscientious, selfless people; and that we are not really a nation of communities but a group of individuals fighting for ourselves—all of which suggests on a very deep level that we feel better when we watch people who we deem to be worse off than we are. The saddest lesson, however, might very well be that we are starved for this kind of inherently cruel entertainment because our own lives seem so much duller in comparison, an observation that suggests that what we can learn from Reality TV does not necessarily only apply to our generation, but to those that came before us and those that will follow—including these hypothetical anthropologists who are watching these shows to better understand us.

Fool Chapter 9

NINE TOIL AND TROUBLE So why is it that we are going to Great Birnam Wood to look for witches?† asked Kent as we made our way across the moor. There was only a slight breeze but it was bloody cold, what with the mist and the gloom and my despair over King Jeff. I pulled my woolen cape around me. â€Å"Bloody Scotland,† said I. â€Å"Albany is possibly the darkest, dampest, coldest bloody crevice in all of Blighty. Sodding Scots.† â€Å"Witches?† reminded Kent. â€Å"Because the bloody ghost told me I'd find my answers here.† â€Å"Ghost?† â€Å"The girl ghost at the White Tower, keep up, Kent. Rhymes and riddles and such.† I told him of the â€Å"grave offense to daughters three† and the â€Å"madman rising to lead the blind.† Kent nodded as if he understood. â€Å"And I'm along because†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Because it is dark and I am small.† â€Å"You might have asked Curan or one of the others. I'm reticent about witches.† â€Å"Nonsense. They're just like physicians, only without the bleeding. Nothing to fear.† â€Å"In the day, when Lear was still Christian, we did not do well by witches. I've had a cartload of curses cast on me.† â€Å"Not very effective, though, were they? You're child-frighteningly old and still strong as a bull.† â€Å"I am banished, penniless, and live under the threat of death upon discovery of my name.† â€Å"Oh, good point. Brave of you to come, then.† â€Å"Aye, thanks, lad, but I'm not feeling it. What's that light?† There was a fire ahead in the wood, and figures moving around it. â€Å"Stealthy, now, good Kent. Let us creep up silently and see what is to be seen before revealing ourselves. Now, creep, Kent, you crashing great ox, creep.† And with but two steps my strategy revealed its flaw. â€Å"You're jingling like a coin purse possessed of fits,† said Kent. â€Å"You couldn't creep up on the deaf nor dead. Silence your bloody bells, Pocket.† I placed my coxcomb on the ground. â€Å"I can leave my hat, but I'll not take off my shoes – we'll surrender all stealth if I'm screaming from trodding tender-footed across lizards, thorns, hedgehogs, and the lot.† â€Å"Here, then,† said Kent, pulling the remains of the pork shoulder from his satchel. â€Å"Dampen your bells with the fat.† I raised an eyebrow quizzically – an unappreciated and overly subtle gesture in the dark – then shrugged and began working the suet into the bells at my toes and ankles. â€Å"There!† I shook a leg to the satisfying sound of nothing at all. â€Å"Forward!† Creep we did, until we were just outside the halo of firelight. Three bent-backed hags were walking a slow circle around a large cauldron, dropping in twisted bits of this and that as they chanted. â€Å"Double, double, toil and trouble: Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.† â€Å"Witches,† whispered Kent, paying tribute to the god of all things bloody fucking obvious. â€Å"Aye,† said I, in lieu of clouting him. (Jones stayed behind to guard my hat.) â€Å"Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.† They double-bubbled the chorus and we were readying ourselves for another verse of the recipe when I felt something brush against my leg. It was all I could do not to cry out. I felt Kent's hand on my shoulder. â€Å"Steady, lad, it's just a cat.† Another brush, and a meow. Two of them now, licking my bells, and purring. (It sounds more pleasant than it was.) â€Å"It's the bloody pork fat,† I whispered. A third feline joined the gang. I stood on one foot, trying to hold the other above their heads, but while I am an accomplished acrobat, the art of levitation still eludes me; thus my ground-bound foot became my Achilles' heel, as it were. One of the fiends sank its fangs into my ankle. â€Å"Fuckstockings!† said I, somewhat emphatically. I hopped, I whirled, I made disparaging remarks toward all creatures of the feline aspect. Hissing and yowling ensued. When at last the cats retreated, I was sitting splayed-legged by the fire, Kent stood next to me with his sword drawn and ready, and the three hags stood in ranks across the cauldron from us. â€Å"Back, witches!† said Kent. â€Å"You may curse me into a toad, but they'll be the last words out of your mouths while your heads are attached.† â€Å"Witches?† said the first witch, who was greenest of the three. â€Å"What witches? We are but humble washerwomen, making our way in the wood.† â€Å"Rendering laundry service, humble and good,† said witch two, the tallest. â€Å"All it be, is as it should,† said witch three, who had a wicked wart over her right eye. â€Å"By Hecate's[27] night-tarred nipples, stop rhyming!† said I. â€Å"If you're not witches, what was that curse you were bubbling about?† â€Å"Stew,† said Warty. â€Å"Stew, stew most true,† said Tall. â€Å"Stew most blue,† said Green. â€Å"It's not blue,† said Kent, looking in the cauldron. â€Å"More of a brown.† â€Å"I know,† said Green, â€Å"but brown doesn't rhyme, does it, love?† â€Å"I'm looking for witches,† said I. â€Å"Really?† said Tall. â€Å"I was sent by a ghost.† The hags looked at one another, then back at me. â€Å"Ghost told you to bring your laundry here, did it?† said Warty. â€Å"You're not washerwomen! You're bloody witches! And that's not stew, and the bloody ghost of the bloody White Tower said to seek you here for answers, so can we get about it, ye gnarled knots of erect vomitus?† â€Å"Ah, we're toads for sure now,† sighed Kent. â€Å"Always a bloody ghost, innit?† said Tall. â€Å"What did she look like?† asked Green. â€Å"Who? The ghost? I didn't say it was a she – â€Å" â€Å"What did she look like, fool?† snarled Warty. â€Å"I suppose I shall pass my days eating bugs and hiding under leaves until some crone drops me in a cauldron,† mused Kent, leaning on his sword now, watching moths dart into the fire. â€Å"She was ghostly pale,† said I, â€Å"all in white – vaporous, with fair hair and – â€Å" â€Å"She was fit,[28] though?† asked Tall. â€Å"Lovely, you might even say?† â€Å"Bit more transparent than I care for in my wenches, but aye, she was fit.† â€Å"Aye,† said Warty, looking to the others, who huddled with her. When they came up, Green said, â€Å"State your business, then, fool. Why did the ghost send you here?† â€Å"She said you could help me. I am fool to the court of King Lear of Britain. He has sent away his youngest daughter, Cordelia, of whom I am somewhat fond; he's given my apprentice fool, Drool, to that blackguard bastard Edmund of Gloucester, and my friend Taster has been poisoned and is quite dead.† â€Å"And don't forget that they're going to hang you at dawn,† added Kent. â€Å"Don't concern yourselves with that, ladies,† said I. â€Å"About to be hanged is my status quo, not a condition that requires your repair.† The hags huddled again. There was much whispering and a bit of hissing. They broke their conference and Warty, who was the apparent coven leader, said, â€Å"That Lear's a nasty piece of work.† â€Å"Last time he went Christian a score of witches were drowned,† said Tall. Kent nodded, and looked at his shoes. â€Å"The Petite Inquisition – not a high point.† â€Å"Aye, we were a decade spelling them all back to life for the revenge,† said Warty. â€Å"Rosemary here still seeps pond-water from the ears on damp days,† said Tall. â€Å"Aye, and carps ate my small toes while I was pond-bottom,† said Green. â€Å"Her toes thus gefilted,[29] we had to seek an enchanted lynx and take two of his for replacement.† Rosemary (who was Green) nodded gravely. â€Å"Goes through shoes in a fortnight, but there's no better witch to chase a squirrel up a tree,† said Tall. â€Å"That's true,† said Rosemary. â€Å"Beats the burnings, though,† said Warty. â€Å"Aye, that's true,† said Tall. â€Å"No amount of cat toes'll fix you if you've all your bits burnt off. Lear had him some burnings as well.† â€Å"I'm not here on behalf of Lear,† said I. â€Å"I'm here to correct the madness he's done.† â€Å"Well, why didn't you say so?† said Rosemary. â€Å"We're always keen on sending a bit of the mayhem Lear's way,† said Warty. â€Å"Shall we curse him with leprosy?† â€Å"By your leave, ladies, I don't wish the old man's undoing, only the undoing of his deeds.† â€Å"A simple curse would be easier,† said Tall. â€Å"A bit o' bat spittle in the cauldron and we can have him walking on duck feet before breakfast. Make him quack, too, if you've a shilling or a freshly-strangled infant for the service.† â€Å"I just want my friends and my home back,† said I. â€Å"Well, if you can't be persuaded, let us have a consult,† said Rosemary. â€Å"Parsley, Sage, a moment?† She waved the other witches over to an old oak where they whispered. â€Å"Parsley, Sage, and Rosemary?† said Kent. â€Å"What, no Thyme?† Rosemary wheeled on him. â€Å"Oh, we've the time if you've the inclination, handsome.† â€Å"Jolly good show, hag!† said I. I liked these crones, they had a fine-edged wit. Rosemary rolled her good eye at the earl, lifted her skirts, aimed her withered bottom at Kent, and rubbed a palsied claw over it. â€Å"Round and firm, good knight. Round and firm.† Kent gagged a little and backed away a few steps. â€Å"Gods save us! Away you ghastly carbuncled tart!† I would have looked away, should have, but I had never seen a green one. A weaker man might have plucked out his own eyes, but being a philosopher, I knew the sight could never be unseen, so I persevered. â€Å"Hop on, Kent,† said I. â€Å"Beast-shagging is thy calling and thou surely have been called.† Kent backed into a tree and half cold-cocked himself. He slid down the trunk, dazed. Rosemary dropped her skirts. â€Å"Just having you on.† The crones cackled as they huddled again. â€Å"We've a proper toading for you once the fool's business is finished, though. A moment, please†¦Ã¢â‚¬  The witches whispered for a moment, then resumed their march around the cauldron. â€Å"Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips, Griffin spunk and monkey hips, Mandrake rubbed with tiger nads, To divine undoing for the old king mad.† â€Å"Oh bollocks,† said Sage, â€Å"we're all out of monkey hips.† Parsley looked into the cauldron and gave it a stir. â€Å"We can make do without them. You can substitute a fool's finger.† â€Å"No,† said I. â€Å"Well, then, get a finger from that comely hunk of man-meat with the bootblack on his beard – he seems foolish enough.† â€Å"No,† said Kent, still a tad dazed. â€Å"And it's not bootblack, it's a clever disguise.† The witches looked to me. â€Å"There's no counting on accuracy without the monkey hips or fool's finger,† said Rosemary. I said: â€Å"Let us make do and gallantly bugger on, shall we, ladies?† â€Å"All right,† said Parsley, â€Å"but don't blame us if we bollocks-up your future.† There was more stirring and chanting in dead languages, and no little bit of wailing, and finally, when I was about to doze off, a great bubble rose in the cauldron and when it burst it released a cloud of steam that formed itself into a giant face, not unlike the tragedy mask used by traveling players. It glowed against the misty night. â€Å"‘Ello,† said the giant face, sounding Cockney and a little drunk. â€Å"Hello, large and steamy face,† said I. â€Å"Fool, Fool, you must save the Drool, Quick to Gloucester, or blood will pool.† â€Å"Oh, for fuck's sake, this one rhymes, too?† said I to the witches. â€Å"Can't a bloke find a straightforward prose apparition?† â€Å"Quiet, fool!† snapped Sage, who I was back to thinking of as Warty. To the face, she said, â€Å"Apparition of darkest power, we're clear on the where and the what, but the fool was hoping for some direction of the how variety.† â€Å"Aye. Sorry,† said large steamy face. â€Å"I'm not slow, you know, your recipe was short a monkey hip.† â€Å"We'll use two next time,† said Sage. â€Å"Well, all right, then†¦ â€Å"To reverse the will of a flighty king, Remove his train to clip his wings. To eldest daughters knights be dower, And soon a fool will yield the power.† The steamy face grinned. I looked at the witches. â€Å"So I'm to somehow get Goneril and Regan to take Lear's knights in addition to everything else they have?† â€Å"He never lies,† said Rosemary. â€Å"He's often wildly fucking inaccurate,† said Parsley, â€Å"but not a liar.† â€Å"Again,† said I to the apparition, â€Å"good to know what to do and all, but a method to the madness would be most welcome as well. A strategy, as it were.† â€Å"Cheeky little bastard, ent ‘e?† said Steamy to the witches. â€Å"Want us to put a curse on him?† asked Sage. â€Å"No, no, the lad's a rocky road ahead without adding a curse to slow him.† The apparition cleared his throat (or at least made the throat-clearing noise, as, strictly speaking, he had no throat). â€Å"A princess to your will shall bend, If seduction in a note, you send, And fates of kings and queens shall tell, When bound are passions with a spell.† With that, the apparition faded away. â€Å"That's it, then?† I asked. â€Å"A couple of rhymes and we're finished? I have no idea what I'm to do.† â€Å"Bit thick yourself, then, are you?† said Sage. â€Å"You're to go to Gloucester. You're to separate Lear from his knights and see that they're under the power of his daughters. Then you're to write letters of seduction to the princesses and bind their passions with a magic spell. Couldn't be any clearer if it was rhymed.† Kent was nodding and shrugging as if the bloody obviousness of it all had sluiced through the wood in an illuminating deluge, leaving me the only one dry. â€Å"Oh, do fuck off, you grey-bearded sot. Where would you get a magic spell to bind the bitches' passion?† â€Å"Them,† said Kent, pointing rudely at the hags. â€Å"Us,† said the hags in chorus. â€Å"Oh,† said I, letting the flood wash over me. â€Å"Of course.† Rosemary stepped forward and held forth three shriveled grey orbs, each about the size of a man's eye. I did not take them, fearing they might be something as disgusting as they appeared to be – desiccated elf scrotums or some such. â€Å"Puff balls, from a fungus that grows deep in the wood,† said Rosemary. â€Å"In lover's breath these spores release An enchanting charm you shall unleash Passion which can be never broken For him whose name next is spoken.† â€Å"So, to recap, simply and without rhyme?† â€Å"Squeeze one of these bulbs under your lady's nose, then say your name and she will find your charms irresistible and become overwhelmed with desire for you,† explained Sage. â€Å"Redundant then, really?† said I with a grin. The hags laughed themselves into a wheeze-around, then Rosemary dropped the puff balls into a small silk pouch and handed it to me. â€Å"There's the matter of payment,† said she, as I reached for the purse. â€Å"I'm a poor fool,† said I. â€Å"All we have between us is my scepter and a well-used shoulder of pork. I suppose I could wait while each of you takes Kent for a roll in the hay, if that will do.† â€Å"You will not!† said Kent. The hag held up a hand. â€Å"A price to be named later,† said she. â€Å"Whenever we ask.† â€Å"Fine, then,† said I, snatching the purse away from her. â€Å"Swear it,† she said. â€Å"I swear,† said I. â€Å"In blood.† â€Å"But – † As quick as a cat she scratched the back of my hand with her ragged talon. â€Å"Ouch!† Blood welled in the crease. â€Å"Let it drip in the cauldron and swear,† said the crone. I did as I was told. â€Å"Since I'm here, is there any chance I could get a monkey?† â€Å"No,† said Sage. â€Å"No,† said Parsely. â€Å"No,† said Rosemary. â€Å"We're all out of monkeys, but we'll put a glamour on your mate so his disguise isn't so bloody pathetic.† â€Å"Go to it, then,† said I. â€Å"We must be off.† ACT II How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child. – King Lear, Act I, Scene 4